I was sitting in a small cafeteria next to the bus station. It was so warm in there, and even though I got enough sleep, I was still tired.

16+15 more minutes to wait, then a nap in the 40 minutes of busride to the place that I have never actually called a home. Lately there is so much stress in there, so being somewhere else, I actually sleep well enough to get some kind of rest. It feels peaceful to be away.

I have sat there before several time and long hours, observating people and what was going on outside, behind the glass windows. I swallowed the smell of coffee and cakes, freshly baked and waiting to be bitten.

A strange thing happened before waking up time early in the morning. I snapped up from my dream, and it really felt like I wasn't actually at my friends place, but home. Though soon, luckily, I realized that it was okay. I wasn't in that Hell.

Oh yes, about latest news, I am fully a redhead again, now, and I feel like myself. In the end of the month my friend shall make me a new haircut and even brighter redness.

The air is filled by the echoes and callings of the Spring. It's not far in the coming any more, that much I can say. There might be snow falling from time to time, but it won't hold for a long. The turning mass that we know as a planet Earth, or Gaia as I call Her, has its own plans for us.

Lulz. Damn you, Shelby, to but the idea into my head to come and live with you in LA. I have always dreams of studing & working, living as wrell, in NY, LA or Nihon [Japan].

Now when I have arrived, I learned that the family's pup is ill again. Every time I touch or gently pet it, I feel that cracking dark energy and it is so painful. I don't want to see it in this state, but I have to bare it. For the peaceful mind of my 'parents' and 'brother'. Even if I would try to explain them, why I can't look after it, they won't understand and most likely I won't find any suitable words. When it comes to explaining my inner state of emotional patterns, it is <u>very</u> hard to say what is really going on. I know, but I don't feel like it to tell about this to anyone particularly. Indeed, I write about some of those things in my blogs, but it is atleast one way. Through metaphors or not...

Very suitable song for me at the moment. Can't get enough.

D :: 7th Rose

+ + +

Though this is my new discovery, through Sheri Nee-chan. ^___^ You were right, I embrace that kind of a style that in this video is. Crazy and stylish at the same time!.

I want those dresses. Pinks and purples. And those shoes!.

*insert melting image here*

I am tired, yet it was worth it. This week I am barely at home, and this is good. I can't bare to be around here much anymore.

Liisa and I were standing in the bus stop earlier, and the mist was so thick, making the winterair a lot warmer. I felt this urge again. That I need to leave Estonia. It is too... small for me. My dreams and will are way too big for this small country, where the economy is still down and politics are messing up with everything what then nation has left.

I have found an ability in myself. I am starting to fall in love with one dear person to me, and she is utterly amazing, though in the other side of the world. It is okay if she never feels the same about me, since I can feel that love about several people at once. At least I can share something special.


*sigh*
So. Tired.
But satsified.
At least I know I will sleep well enough tonight.

'Tis all for today.
Bare with me. (:

Nana.

<33

Random CD Cover Game

1 - Go to wikipedia and hit random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
2 - Go to quotationspage.com and hit random. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last minute”. Third picture no matter what ......it is, will be your album cover.
4 - Use photoshop or similar (picnik.com is a free online photo editor) to put it all together.

...of the Day :: Monday Parade

Song of the Day

30 Seconds To Mars - Kings & Queens

I just adore it. And it is perfect song for starting this whole little 'project'. Hehe.

The whole album [This Is War] from where this song originates is just amazengh!.

Lyrics that I specially love in here ::
We were the kings and queens of promise
We were the victims of ourselves
Maybe the children of a lesser God

/-/

The age of man is over
A darkness comes at dawn
These lessons that we've learned here
Have only just begun

Quote of the Day

Simply.

True.

Artist of the Day

Adaam Isaac Jackson.

Favorite Person of the Day

Jude Law.

The Talented Mr. Ripley
A.I. Artificial Intelligence
Cold Mountain
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Mornings & Art

Morning everyone. 

Had barely any sleep, and that too for about... lets say... 2 hours, perhaps?. 

Gods, my mind just wouldn't shut down, that was so immense.

But oh well, here I am, checking friends' blogs and finding some cute stuff.

I miss my Tartu people.

And they have had amazing ideas.

This video is taken within 3 to 4 days if I remember correctly.

They rented a room, and put white paper everywhere. 

Then lived in there, and painted all over the place.

People could come and go as they pleased!.

I loooove these kind of movies.
And so many familiar faces.
Oh god.
I am glad they are having fun!.
^____^

By the end of the first video, my coffee had gotten cold.
I don't mind. It is good to drink it after such a long time.
Me, who don't drink coffee and prefers tea, or Inka coffeinefreecoffedrink.
With sugar and milk and a sip of water.
At least keeps me falling like a rock into restless dreams.

The videos are from ::
apple-gets-rotten.blogspot.com & Katrin O.
[An aspiring artist that I honor and look up to!.]

Today my road takes outside, fighting with those slippery roads.
Dammit.
It was raining... rain, last night and evening.
Poor bones that are going to get cracked up.
And many other... stuff. Bruises. Oh fun fun time.
Hopefully I can keep my record of this winter, with no falling on my tender butt.
Haha. I would like to see that, to be honest.

Gonna have my own bday party in this weekend.
'Tis gonna be fun. Full of laughter and joy.
What else you could want from this, ne?.
<33

H.

Family = Suck

Certainly, the attitude around here continues being unpleasant. Have to find something to do, which could take my anger away. Sure, writing is one kind of solution, I just have to bring myself to my art again. It is about a time too, though.

Tehee.

Some more ideas start to grow in my mind.
I haven't done anything so long that it kind of is killing me from inside.

Yet...

Soon you may see some new stuff coming from me.
I shall test with some patterns from Asian culture and art style, and mix them with my own unique style. Just to make it all better!.

+ + +

Gomene, I have to rant. -.-''

I clearly don't understand how a 23 year old young man can act like 12 year old boy. Possibly even younger. He has told many times, don't act like you do. Don't bully your sister, but none. Nada. He still continues to do it.

Why people can't have a resonable mind for once?.
He lives together with 3 more persons and one pup.

Cares more for the dog than the others, which includes making strange noises even when others are in the next room. Loud and sharp. God damn, are you a fucking seal?. Ne?. Asshole.

He hasn't seen any particular life as well. Mother has made everything for him, so he just... moves no finger. He doesn't know how to cook, only minor things. Eats only things that you can be sure it is nothing new. Like... I know that deep within him is kind, warm and intelligent young man, but the attention he wants, why he has to pick it from me. He knows perfectly well that I am a hermit type, I don't want to speak unless I speak or there is something important.

I. Just. Want. To. Be. In. Peace.

It is not a lot asked, ne?.

Doki

the New Beginning



I needed it.

*sigh*

There is a voice singing inside of me.

It has awoken after such a long time.

I spread my wings.

Wind brushing over the snowwhite feathers.

Feels good, ne.

I try my best to get back to those things that I love.

My art and my writings.

Will learn more Japanese during this year.

On my own, in the beginning, as much as I can.

^___^

Doki